Recently, I was discussing with a client the importance of speaking up. It is not uncommon for many of us to bite our tongue instead of speaking our mind, for fear of hurting feelings or some other reason. It’s much easier to express positive emotions, but do I allow myself to speak up when I’m feeling scared, angry, or sad? I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve become accustomed to keeping all of those bottled up inside (a habit that I am working hard at changing). Part of that has to do with my past of being bullied. Victims of bullying are often intimidated into keeping silent of the abuse, which prevents their fear, anger, and sadness from getting out. This, I’d say, is the root cause of my bottling up. For others, those feelings may be perceived as negative and evil due to their culture or upbringing. We each have our own reasons for not speaking up.
Though the desire not to hurt someone comes from a good heart, it’s important not to let it blind us to the fact that the painful truth sometimes needs to be heard. Whether it’s to report a bully’s abuse at work or at school, or to tell your partner/spouse how you feel about something that was said, or whatever else you may be struggling with saying, your dilemma may stem from emotions getting in the way of doing the right thing. Keep in mind that you have a right to make yourself heard. Your loved ones need to know how their words and actions are affecting you. The bully needs to be held accountable for his abuse… he has no right to belittle you or make you suffer.
Anger is an emotion telling us that we feel like we suffered injustice. Sadness tells us that we lost something dear to us. Fear tells us that we are being threatened. These emotions are not negative. They’re telling us something. Next time you feel any of these, acknowledge them and speak up!
Be a light to your world today!